Numerology and Relationship Compatibility
Numerology has a huge amount to offer in terms of determining relationship compatibility and how to better cultivate relationship harmony. When first meeting people we show our personality number. But our heart’s desire number, or the deeper side to ourselves, is only revealed in time, as we feel safer. Often we become attracted to the facade (personality number) that others show. A prospective partner may be a natural match in terms of personality numbers, but a strong clash with our heart’s desire numbers.
More importantly, is knowing whether our ruling numbers sync with a partner’s or repels them. Our ruling number is the most important number in our numerological blueprint. Let’s say you have a ruling number 6, which is the nurturer. Your life path revolves around nurturing a family or one’s community (eg Steve Irwin). You will, therefore, find a natural match with a ruling number 9, which is the humanitarian (eg Gandhi). The 9 nurtures the workplace, wider society etc and is also very other-oriented and service minded. Both the 6 and 9 are creatively minded, ensuring they have a heart and mind matching.
If you possess the ruling number 6, you are likely to clash with a ruling number 5, which is characterised as freedom and adventure seeking. The 5 resists forming roots and loathes being tied down (eg Steven Spielberg), the antithesis of the 6, which feels most comfortable in a home and domestic environment. While there is little long-term compatibility between these two, the trouble arises from opposites attracting, at least in the short term.
Consider the film, Gone Girl. Nick and Amy are close when they have financial security and their life in New York city is settled. But when they lose their jobs in the recession, Nick coerces Amy to move out to the country to be near his family. He then grows shiftless, gets bored in the relationship and becomes unfaithful. Not quite the setting for Amy to move into the mothering phase of life. Pretty soon things descend in spectacular fashion.
The responsible, domestic-minded 6 is drawn to the free-spirited, rebellious 5, because they offer a sense of contrast. We often struggle to differentiate when polarity is beneficial and when it is detrimental to our development. Numerology offers an understanding of our whole personality so we can determine whether we thrive more with a dynamic, but volatile type of relationship, or do best with a calmer, but less varied one.
Adding to our complexity is the fact that our numerology blueprint is not fixed. While some of our personality traits remain constant over our lives, others fluctuate. We are all continually navigating differing cycles. Each year we have a personal year, which brings a different focus. There are also distinct periods of life and peak cycles of growth and challenge. Our temperaments may be a good match, but when we start navigating different cycles we become perplexed as to why the ground seems to have shifted in our relationship.
At a collective level, there are further issues to work through. The last millennium was masculine in its nature, with a governing number of ONE. From the year 2000 onwards the feminine principal governing the TWO has come to the fore. Women are no longer subjugating their essence and needs in order to placate the insecurities of men. Men are also outgrowing the old patriarchal energies as they seek to be more heart oriented and find equality in a relationship. The independent mindset of the last cycle is transitioning into the desire for harmonious association with others.
As we move into the Age of Acquarius there is growing demand for equality and understanding in relationships, compared to the power imbalances of the past. In growing via partnerships, we become better placed to develop our gifts and serve the wider community, in true Acquarian fashion. As the poet William Stafford expressed:
If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and I don’t know the kind of person you are
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world
and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.
Within the culture, there has been a move away from relationships of convenience. Instead of being limited to arranged marriages or the small circle of one’s local community, our global, web-based world allows us to meet people more nuanced to ourselves.
Relationships that begin from online dating are the second most common way of beginning, only marginally eclipsed by the proportion of people who meet via mutual friends. While technology offers the potential for greater matching, we are currently beset with an equal amount of challenges, such as what has been called, “Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse.”
Connecting with people primarily due to a photo, may help with assessing physical attraction but does little in the way of predicting long-term happiness, which relies on finding an emotional, mental and spiritual connection.
In the previous millennium, divorce rates were low as people stayed together due to social approval and economic necessity. There is much to suggest they did so unhappily. In the 2 cycle, the opposite is occurring. People now constantly shop for relationships, always with an eye on a better deal, leading to a huge churn factor. But the tinder profile lacks depth as does the Facebook profile, which only shows that which we want to be seen. As people naturally show their best side when under the sway of infatuation, we often find ourselves enmeshed with someone unsuitable well before we recognise the full person.
Numerology helps you understand how you’re wired, what blindspots and challenges you need to tend to if you are to experience high functioning relationships. It casts light on a prospective partner and your compatibility together.
Equally valuable is the ability of numerology to help us understand the life purpose we have chosen to work on. Unfortunately, most people are quite oblivious to this, as evidenced by statistics showing that upwards of 80% of people do not feel passionate about their work, the area consuming most of our lives. It is hard to accentuate our higher or essential self when we languish in careers that don’t reflect our vocation. This only leads to a greater desire to be rescued or completed by a partner, as opposed to nurturing one another equally and growing together. As Howard Thurman expressed:
There are two questions that we have to ask ourselves. The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me?’ If you ever get these questions in the wrong order, you are in trouble.
Understanding ourselves, our partners, the cycles we are navigating and our callings, allows us to choose and sustain a relationship that brings with it the fullness of life, rather than the endless pain and drama experienced by so many.
This next article explores how numerology can aid us in determining our vocations and life purpose.